


Wasted Times

by ashamed



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Growing Up, M/M, Sibling Incest, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 14:24:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14474595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashamed/pseuds/ashamed
Summary: Confusing thoughts and feelings have left an emotional divide between Edward and Alphonse. Nevertheless, when things take a turn for the worst, they reach out for each other as they always have. Through their struggles the brothers work to rebuild their strong bond, despite the tragedies they've suffered and the moral complexes they've been taught to follow.





	Wasted Times

Chapter One 

 

As children, Edward and Alphonse had always been extremely close. They were each other’s built-in best friend. The combination of their close age, and their shared interests made it almost impossible for them to not get along. When they began attending school, they were astonished to learn that most people found their siblings annoying and fought with them regularly.

  
Edward adored his younger brother, and constantly tried to show off for him; secretly hoping that Alphonse would think he was the best older brother in the entire world. On the flipside, Alphonse looked up to Edward as if he was God himself. To Alphonse. Edward could do no wrong. Without their dad around, Edward had become “the man of the house,” and in Alphonse opinion, he was perfect for the role. Whether it was reading to him, tucking him in, or making him a snack; Edward was always there to help Alphonse.

Trisha Elric was proud of the fact that her boys weren’t like other male siblings. Fellow parents of Risembool had warned her that the older they got, the less friendly the boys would be with each other. However, Trisha only saw the opposite occurring. Even though Edward was 10 years old, with Al following closely behind at 9, the two spent every waking minute together. In fact, Trisha occasionally found them sharing a bed, and was pleased that they found comfort in each other after nightmares or during thunderstorms.

  
The three of them were content with their quiet lives. Ed and Al continued to share their love for alchemy, and Trisha encouraged them with proud smiles and tight hugs. The disappearance of their father was hard on Edward, but he found that being with Alphonse lessened the pain. Al was only 9 years old, but Edward secretly thought his younger brother was much more mature than himself. Alphonse knew exactly what to say, and how to comfort Edward whenever he fell down the sinkhole of angry thoughts he had about his “good for nothing” father. On more than one occasion Alphonse had even shown Edward how he could learn to control his anger.

  
“Whenever you feel yourself becoming annoyed, just close your eyes and take some deep breaths. Then think about your favorite thing in the world. Only think about that one thing. If you concentrate hard enough on the thing that makes you happy, you’ll forget all about whatever it was that was making you angry,” Alphonse had said while smiling up at Edward.

  
They had been standing next to the creek close to their home. Only a few minutes earlier, Edwards thoughts about his father had gotten the best of him, causing his blood to boil. He had announced that he was going for a walk, then stormed out of the house, running as fast as he could. Trisha watched him go, knowing it was better to just let him blow off some steam. However, Alphonse being the worrier that he was went on a search for his brother. The younger blonde found his sibling standing by the creek, with hot angry tears streaming down his face. The sight made his heart hurt, and so he hugged his brother closely before spilling advice that he wasn’t even sure would work.

  
Edward smiled, he truly thought Al was the cutest thing in the world. His younger brother cared so deeply for him, and it warmed his heart. As the two brothers hugged each other closely, they felt safe.

  
‘Surely,’ Ed thought, ‘It’s happiness from here on out.’

* * *

  
Edward Elric is 11 years old, and insanely confused. He has just woken up to find that he is sticky and struggling to catch his breath. The stickiness is not what confuses him. Edward is very aware of what that is, especially after the embarrassing conversation he had with his mother about “maturing” a little over a month ago.

  
Yes, Edward understood that he was growing and going through changes. His mother told him it was nothing to be ashamed of, and truthfully, he wasn’t ashamed at all. It’s just biology after all. It’s just science, and Edward loves science. So, he accepts that he’s going to have embarrassing moments; whether it’s needing to wash his sheets every day or locking Al out of his room while claiming that he needs some “alone time.” Even though Edward might feel like his body is betraying him, he doesn’t feel ashamed, and he isn’t confused.

  
However, when Edward wakes up that night from another dream with an all too familiar ending, he is confused. He’s confused AND ashamed. Edward can’t believe that his hormonal body would lead his mind so astray. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t forget his distressing dream.

  
It was…Alphonse, his younger brother Alphonse. The dream had started off normally enough, with Al creeping into his room, claiming he was scared, and asking if he could share a bed with Edward for the night.

  
“Of course, Al,” Ed had whispered as he lifted the sheets up and motioned for Alphonse to join him in the bed. Alphonse eyes had shined bright with gratitude as he crawled in next to his brother. They lay next to each for a while, saying nothing until Alphonse finally broke the silence.

  
“I’m so lucky to have you in my life, Brother. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

  
Edward felt a blush begin to creep up on him at the words. His heart beat fast, and he turned to stare at Al’s perfect face. Their eyes had locked, and Edward felt one of Al’s legs begin to rub against his own under the blanket. A wide and genuine smile had appeared on the younger blonde’s face. Edward couldn’t help but admire how long Al’s eyelashes were, or how great the moonlight looked hitting the high points of his face.

  
The atmosphere felt very odd to Edward. Not bad, just very bizarre. Never had Alphonse stared at Edward so…longingly, as if he were the air Alphonse breathed. Their legs continued to rub against each other, and occasionally tangled together. Gold eyes that belonged to the older sibling followed the path of Alphonse hand from where it rested on the bed, until it was pressed up against Edward’s cheek. Yes, things were getting extremely bizarre. Just as Edward began considering the possibility that the events playing out before him were a dream, Alphonse spoke again.

  
“Brother… would you…please kiss me?”

  
In that moment Edward realized how incredibly close Alphonse was to him. They were practically chest to chest, with their faces only a few inches apart. He didn’t remember his younger brother closing that much distance between them; however, he tried to ignore the thought as his brain attempted to sort through the problem at hand.  
Alphonse wanted to kiss him, which WAS a problem. Nevertheless, the even bigger problem that Edward faced was the fact that as soon as Alphonse had asked for a kiss, he realized just how willing he was to oblige. In fact, he found himself wanting to kiss Alphonse …badly.

  
As Alphonse looked to his older brother expectingly, Edward concluded that this was indeed a dream. Therefore… there should be nothing wrong with kissing Alphonse. It wasn’t as if Edward would be stealing his innocence away, because the Alphonse in bed next to him was nothing but a figment of his imagination. The real Alphonse would never know it happened.

  
So, Edward leaned forward and connected their mouths. He had never kissed anyone before, so it was weak and slow. Al didn’t seem to mind though, as he stroked his older brother cheek and pushed deeper into the kiss. Edward couldn’t help but keep his eyes open to watch a blush form over his sibling’s face. He found Alphonse to be far too adorable. Edward closed his eyes and continued to enjoy their messy attempt at kissing.

  
Suddenly, Edward felt intense pleasure rip through him at the exact moment Alphonse tongue slipped into his mouth. His mouth retracted from Al’s, and his eyes flew open. Things were not right, and Edward began to feel very disoriented. Whilst panting heavily, Ed realized Alphonse was nowhere to be found next to him, and he soon felt the discomfort of having just woken up from a…. wet dream.

  
‘I just had a wet dream about my own little brother,’ Edward thought to himself as a look of disgust flashed across his face. He would never be able to look Alphonse in the eye again, let alone share a bed with him.

  
It was already daylight, and sunshine flooded in through Edwards window. As he heard footsteps throughout the house he groaned, realizing he would have no recovery time. Sure enough, within only a few second Alphonse burst through his bedroom door.

  
“Brother can you get up already! I’ve been asking mom to hold off on making breakfast until you woke up, but I’m starting to get seriously hungry.” A wide smile hung on Alphonse face. He giggled slightly and raised his eyebrows at Edward when he was greeted with nothing but silence and a long stare. Edward wasn’t sure what to say; afraid that if he opened his mouth he would unintentionally spill all the details of his dream. That could not happen, Alphonse could never find out.

  
Although Edward wasn’t quite sure why he’d had such a dream, he knew he’d…liked it. Staring at his brother now, all he could think was ‘I hope he asks to share a bed with me, and my dream becomes a reality.’ Instant guilt flooded Edward’s system as he realized how sick his thoughts were. Things were not supposed to turn out like this. Everyone at school had always said he and Alphonse were too close, too touchy -feely. Maybe they had been right after all.

  
It was then, with Alphonse staring at him confusedly, that Edward pledged to himself he would never disclose his strange feelings to his younger brother. As Alphonse’s older sibling it was Edwards job to protect him, and that’s exactly what Edward planned on doing. Boundaries were going to be set, and Edward would begin to create distance between them. It was the only option

  
“Is everything alright brother,” Alphonse questioned while fiddling with the door handle nervously. Edward snapped out of his thoughts and nodded in response.  
“Yes Alphonse, everything is fine, I’m just tired is all. Could you please leave so I can change? I’ll be out for breakfast in a few minutes.” Edward inwardly cringed at how cold he sounded towards Alphonse. His heart felt heavier when the obvious distress passed across his younger brother’s face.

  
Nevertheless, Alphonse just nodded and quietly left Edward’s room, closing the door behind him. Alphonse had no way of knowing that these kinds of distant and cold interactions would become the normal for him and Edward. For the next four months Alphonse would cry himself to sleep, wondering what he had done to make Edward hate him.

* * *

  
Alphonse Elric is 11 years old, already mourning the deep connection he once had with his brother, when suddenly his mother dies.

  
If he hadn’t felt alone before, he certainly does now.

  
As the Elric brothers stand in front of their mother’s grave, Alphonse prays that Edward will break out of the emotionless trance he’s been in. Even if it’s just for a moment, just long enough to take Alphonse into his arms and hold him as he sobs. Even if it’s just for a moment, just long enough to tell Alphonse that it’ll be alright, since they still have each other. Even that would be enough.

  
Instead, Edward says nothing and turns to walk home; leaving his younger brother to stand alone. Alphonse wraps his arms around himself as he begins to cry. Sobs rake so heavily over his body that he falls to his knees.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, I've got more chapters waiting. I just wanted to see how the story would be received before uploading all of it. I know the ages for things are probably a bit off, it's been a while since I've seen the beginning of Fma.


End file.
